The Misapplied Criminal Mind

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Born 1973. Haven't died yet, despite several near-misses.

Doing stuff.
Fiddly things.


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Blog Links
Just some of the great blogs I keep stumbling on. Go for an explore, and if you see any really good ones, let me know...

- the hottest blogger I know.
- I hate knitting. However, I love this blog. Who'd have thought?
- If you ask me, it's perpetual brilliance!
- 'nuff said.
Inspired - inspiring.
- ...into light.
Xenouveau - Her from Sadisticland.
All Geek To Me - Fun from Scout Finch.

The HAL9000 Report - WARNING! - Controversy!

Elven Sarah - Witty and weird, a bit like me (but witty).
Sedgefield - A nice blog, which may have died from meme deficiency...
Lorianne - A great lady had a great blog. Hopefully it returns...
superphase - A stick hero for the masses...
Sadly, we have been given the cold Shoulder.
- a great blog from the continent, nice and warm there.
Selfindulgence - Not indulgent any more.
She Speaks - The star-crossed lover is now silent.
Organic Feminism - A tremendous blog. Even though she calls me Scoots *shudder*
You can no longer get your soup fix from souplover.

The Witches of Elswick
Lair of the Strong Bad - 3D Chat - Sweets

My mood is: The current mood of winstonsmith at

Hits since 28/07/2004:

Blogarama - The Blog Directory

Entries you may have missed
Behold The Freak!!!
Insert Title Here...
Cycling woes.
Happy Easter, etc.
Back Seat Blogger
Remember Sammy Jankiss
Journey from Hell...
I have returned...
My warbly song...
Astral Projection
Tick followed tock...
Another Week

Link Images
If you want to put a little picture on your site linking to this one, then you can use one of these images...

If you use one, try to host it yourself, I can't be certain how long the website will be up...

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Monday, April 26, 2004
Remember Sammy Jankiss

I don't respond well to threats.
I will occasionally run away, or more likely, particularly if I'm drunk, become suicidally aggressive (just ask anyone who attended my stag night). Either way, the threat rarely has the desired effect.

I am at a loss to explain why my wife of eight years hasn't yet grasped this. Over the last 6 months, she should also have realised that I respond even less well to abusive phonecalls in the middle of the night.
Up until last week, these oral tirades would be on a Friday or Saturday night at around 2am, when I was still awake. Then on Thursday morning (2am) she awoke me from my slumbers for yet another unproductive argument. Hence my lateness for work on Friday. There has been another paradigm shift. I used to be able to expect a lull of one to two weeks between these disturbances, but last night, she called at midnight to say "Why are you such a f***ing t***?"
I hung up at that. If I wanted abuse, I wouldn't have split up with her.
She called back. "I'm moving back in, so move out or I'll make your life a misery!" Faced with this double whammy of irritations as I was, I was disinclined to acquiesce to her suggestion.
A lengthy argument followed, until she yelled "I just want some f***ing peace!" so I hung up again. She called back a few moments later, so I told her, "you said you wanted peace," and hung up again. She called again, I rejected the call on my mobile, and turned it off. So she called the house phone. "You can't turn this one off!" she bayed. I hung up. She called back.

It is at times like these that you wonder how the hell you managed to lumber yourself with a psychotic for a wife.

This time I told her I was making a note of the times and contents of her calls, as added ammunition when I divorce her for unreasonable behaviour, and hung up again.
She called again, this time in tears.
As I've said, threats and abusive calls cut no ice with me. Waterworks, however turn me into a complete mug. My chivalry processes kick in, and I become The Protector, damp shouldered hug machine. She knows this, and inevitably falls back on this when all else fails.
So I told her I'd see if I could arrange moving out for a week or so. I suspect I won't be able to, largely due to my parents (my only means of transport at the moment) being likely to say "To hell with that! You're not going anywhere until that house is sold!"
They have a point, too. She's unstable enough to try most things...

She infuriates me. It's my own fault for marrying her, I know. This annoyance I feel becomes all-consuming, like an unscratchable itch, and seriously impairs my concentration. This, I suspect, is the cause of my accidents, and my absent-mindedness.

I left my rucksack on the train today. Of course, I didn't realise this until I was boarding the second train, by which time my rucksack was taking a free trip to Manchester Airport (Incidentally, I left my gloves on the train on Friday, after the row on Thursday).
It's almost as if my subconscious mind is trying to erase her, but is as accurate as I am with a bowling ball. I think this memory failure may have been a contributory factor in the break up, but I can't remember. I can however, remember most details of most movies I have ever seen.
Luckily I only arrived at work an hour and a half late. The gloomily expected tsunami, volcano and meteor strike failed to materialise.
At least I have my rucksack back. I need to stare blankly at the blank application form, willing it to fill itself in...

Posted at 12:56 pm by Paul

May 21, 2007   12:03 PM PDT
Have you ever thought of unplugging the phone from the socket?
October 29, 2004   07:41 PM PDT
I would file a complaint and get a restraining order against that woman!
April 26, 2004   08:50 PM PDT
Yay Sex! I just thought I would throw that in there!
April 26, 2004   07:42 PM PDT
Honey, you know how I feel about the whole thing - but here is a reminder anyway:
<fantastically huge bear hug>

and halcyon - I could argue the same thing about men. I think it's just one of those things about the messy logic of the heart.

and hey, isn't 'sex?' usually the question? ;)
April 26, 2004   03:59 PM PDT
Thats so crap, with the wife thingy.

Well hope things go much better after every is sorted.
April 26, 2004   03:32 PM PDT
Amanda, you could be right. However, it's definitely the answer to all kinds of questions...
April 26, 2004   03:10 PM PDT
Could the answer to that question... be Sex?!
Green Wolf
April 26, 2004   01:39 PM PDT
Awww sucky. Sorry about that. Time to chage the phone number?
April 26, 2004   01:36 PM PDT
by the way you have to admit its excellent how that film was presented so that you have no idea whats going on even when you've watched it all
April 26, 2004   01:35 PM PDT
women are the only creatures that have the ability to completely fuck up a mans life. and the only things we seem to be completely defenseless against. you have to ask yourself, why do we do it?

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