Well, I should really tell you all about my adventures over the last few weeks, the tribulations of moving and so on, but first, I'll tell you about my sister's new vacuum cleaner.
Dateline: The weekend before the move.
My sister is getting a little nervous about my impending move. It's not my scruffy presence that worries her, but that of Spartacus.
It's time to come clean. I live with a gladiator. Now forget the talk of snails and oysters
, this is a fearsome warrior in feline form. He's 9 years old (that's "Up yours, human!" in cat years), and he spends his entire life indulging in one of theses activities:
- Shedding hair
- Clawing furniture
- Being scared by pieces of fluff
- Being completely unfazed by earthquakes, plane crashes and the like.
- Picking at his food
- Demanding cat milk (lactose-free)
- Demanding to be let out
Most of these are resolvable, and all part of the process of being a cat's slave...owner, but the shedding seems to be the one she has the most trouble with. Despite the fact that the house has only two carpets (master bedroom, landing/stairs), the threading of cat hairs through the carpet fibres can reduce her to a quivering wreck. Her current hoover (not a vac by hoover, just what we call 'em over here) is my old one, and sucks as hard as an asthmatic budgie.
So, we paid a visit to several different showrooms, looking for hoovers. She wanted a bagless one, but not an accursed Dyson.
High and low we searched, until finally we came across a nice hoover
We got it home, and she proceeded to clean the house, declaring it a minor miracle.
Dateline: Wednesday night
I had a call from my sis, who's staying at the folks' this week. "Don't forget to hoover," she told me.
My mum called from Tenerife, a smalll island in the Atlantic, just off the coast of Africa. "Don't forget to hoover," she said.
I think my family considers me forgetful.
So, 11pm, having forgotten to do it earlier, I decided to tackle the vacuuming. Oh my goodness, what a beast! It's only small, but it has a voracious appetite. It gobbled up all the animal hairs, dust, and optimistically attempted the following:
- My shoe
- A bin bag full of clothes
- 3 rugs
- the cat
- my jeans (worn)
- a sofa
I was drained at the end, it was stronger than me!
That sounds rather suspect...