The Misapplied Criminal Mind

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Born 1973. Haven't died yet, despite several near-misses.

Doing stuff.
Fiddly things.


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Blog Links
Just some of the great blogs I keep stumbling on. Go for an explore, and if you see any really good ones, let me know...

- the hottest blogger I know.
- I hate knitting. However, I love this blog. Who'd have thought?
- If you ask me, it's perpetual brilliance!
- 'nuff said.
Inspired - inspiring.
- ...into light.
Xenouveau - Her from Sadisticland.
All Geek To Me - Fun from Scout Finch.

The HAL9000 Report - WARNING! - Controversy!

Elven Sarah - Witty and weird, a bit like me (but witty).
Sedgefield - A nice blog, which may have died from meme deficiency...
Lorianne - A great lady had a great blog. Hopefully it returns...
superphase - A stick hero for the masses...
Sadly, we have been given the cold Shoulder.
- a great blog from the continent, nice and warm there.
Selfindulgence - Not indulgent any more.
She Speaks - The star-crossed lover is now silent.
Organic Feminism - A tremendous blog. Even though she calls me Scoots *shudder*
You can no longer get your soup fix from souplover.

The Witches of Elswick
Lair of the Strong Bad - 3D Chat - Sweets

My mood is: The current mood of winstonsmith at

Hits since 28/07/2004:

Blogarama - The Blog Directory

Entries you may have missed
Behold The Freak!!!
Insert Title Here...
Cycling woes.
Happy Easter, etc.
Back Seat Blogger
Remember Sammy Jankiss
Journey from Hell...
I have returned...
My warbly song...
Astral Projection
Tick followed tock...
Another Week

Link Images
If you want to put a little picture on your site linking to this one, then you can use one of these images...

If you use one, try to host it yourself, I can't be certain how long the website will be up...

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Monday, March 29, 2004
Behold the freak!!!

That's it. I'm a freak of nature.

My sister tried to get out of a drinking frenzy on Friday. "I can't, I'm...ummm...going out for a quiet drink with my brother tonight."

She's a popular girl. The booze-hunters decided to come with us on an orgiastic, alcohol-soaked, hedonistic spree.
I got a phonecall. "'re coming for a drink tonight..."

So, we met for some drinks. I decided not to have too much, as I can't handle my ale...
So, three pints later, I've reached my limit. I'm playing pool, badly, and everyone is now my best friend.
We go to the next pub, which I have recommended, having been there once before. I head for the toilets, get lost (again), and slip on a beer spillage. The resulting ice dancing is worthy of at least a 5.7, as I manfully struggle to keep upright. However, I am crestfallen at the lack of applause.

We drink that pub dry of its contents, as I put the embarrassing incident behind me. Someone suggests we go to a nightclub, and after half an hour of wandering the streets, we get a taxi to the nearest one.
This place is dark, even for a nightclub. I wander around the dancefloor, gyrating, until my sister tells me I dance like my dad. In a sulk, I go to the toilets in here, hoping for more luck when I return. A rather attractive woman passes me, and my gaze follows her. Then she somehow gets taller, as I find myself in a rather more successful plummet to the ground.
She tripped me!
I can't believe she tripped me!
Unless she built the nightclub, she didn't trip me. I had been so intent on her nice short skirt and cleavage that I wasn't watching for a surprise step up, and I had fallen over that. I got up straight away, but the damage was done. Not only to my elbows and left knee, but my reputation in that part of the nightclub was etched in stone as "That guy who fell over the step."
Now some people might say, "Aww, bad luck, could have happened to anyone," but those people are usually the ones who avoid such trip-related embarrassment, and usually find the whole thing somewhat amusing!
So, I must be a freak. I have a defective gene, which causes me to embarrass myself in public. There can be no other explanation...

Posted at 10:40 pm by Paul

April 21, 2004   05:14 PM PDT
hehe, I have tripped up loads of times with looking at someone.

And I cant care what story will be made of it.
March 31, 2004   01:02 PM PST
Nyeh! You need embarrassing experiences to fill your blog up with cool stuff! And people like me can say, Wow, and I thought "I" was scary... *grin* (coming from me, this is a compliment, BTW) I loooove tales of shame and humiliation!
March 30, 2004   08:49 AM PST
poor winston, at least this wasn't a story of alcohol mixed with
March 30, 2004   07:33 AM PST
poor Winston, no game when drinking
March 30, 2004   07:29 AM PST
ohhh sorry, not much luck at all! But, I have one better than tripping....did a shot..took one deep breath..and wham! Puked all over the guy standing in front of me . Nastiness lol. I was mortified.

Hehe, dance like your dad eh? That's funny.

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